


Mothwave Goes to IKEA and Has a Generally Good Time

by Junipei



Category: Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, If abstractism was words this would be it, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 09:23:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20273629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junipei/pseuds/Junipei
Summary: I'm getting 20 dollars to make this and you aren't.





	Mothwave Goes to IKEA and Has a Generally Good Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shape of Metal](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Shape+of+Metal).

It was a day.

Ratchet walked in. ‘Yep, I diagnose you with day,’ he said to the day.

The day said nothing, it would break the news to its wife and kids later.

Bulkhead walked in, ‘We need to buy,’ he said.

Capitalism agreed, buying was good, they needed to buy, _consume_.

‘But what?’ Said █████.

Prowl walked in, ‘the simplest answer is to act, lucky numbers 32, 11, 15, 43, 17, 39 pear 梨 (li) 子 (zi)’

Those were, of course, coordinates to the nearest IKEA, IKEA is a store, I have never seen one in real life, please help me describe how an IKEA looks and functions by writing to my email @ ayy-junipei.tumblr.com, lines are open from 8 'til late. Anyway, so that was a description of an Ikea, and the gang all walked into one, marvelling at the INGAVAM, the SUNDKAV, the JENNINÅN, the TRATER (whose identity had yet to be discovered) and the █████.

Said Optimus, walking in, ‘alright gang, let's split up and search for clues,’ as he walked in.

‘Hi welcome to here, the store is open and you may live for now,’ said the human person, ‘sauce.’

Bee nodded ‘sauce’ he said but in a higher pitch, then turned to Shockwave, who is a mothman, a Mothwave, he hasn't been mentioned in the story so far despite being the titular character, I hope the feeling you get from reading this shows you a glimpse into the absolute depths of frustration that is when you read a story and it promises your pairing, and you have to wait until its twenty chapters in, just for one tiny insignificant sentence, they don't even hold hands, they just thing "oh shit, they're hot, maybe I should bang them?", and that's it, that’s all you fucking get, you were baited my friend, you bought premium Caribbean Spice Colombian Cocaine, you laid it out in perfect lines on the toilet seat in your local Tesco, and you gave it the hardest snort of your life, only then did you realise the whole thing was fucking icing sugar, smoke and mirrors, you paid top dollar for your cheap shit plastic clown medal and all you can do now is wear it with the empty shell of pride.

Anyway, Bee turned to Mothwave and do doo do-do-do do doo. ‘let's go girls.’

They goed.

They perused the section with nice things. ‘I would like... a SVIKFÖR,’ Bee said, walking up to the till and pointing to the SVIKFÖR, it was casual, Bee was casual, but was it casual?

‘LAMP,’ said Mothwave.

‘Yeah, no lamps here though, you think IKEA would be famous for lamps or something,' said Bumblebee, noticing the severe lack in lamps.

‘████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████’

‘You stop that.’

Mothwave's neck shrank in on itself, ‘ok.’

[Ok Junipei, remember to research IKEAs because this would be a good point to describe how they went about an IKEA while talking about decent topics to bring up with your giant Mothman BF.]

‘-and that is why Spectacular Spiderman's version of Venom is the best’ Bumblebee finished.

‘_Lamp._’

‘God I love you.’

‘HEY!’ Came the sonorous warcry of a very angry human person.

They looked down, it was a human person, exactly what it sounded like ‘what is the problem, human person?’

It pointed at Mothwave ‘I am a human person, and he's a problem! He has is been stealing lamps from all in the store!’

Bumblebee walked in and put his servos on his hips, ‘Mothwave!’ He chided, walking in, ‘stealing lamps?’

Mothwave shook his head.

‘Telling lies?’

Mothwave shook his shook his head.

‘Open your subspace.’

He did, and an lamp fell out.

And then another lamp fell out.

And then another lamp fell out.

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And then another lamp fell out.

‘LÄMP...’ Mothwave said with sad eye.

And they never went to IKEA again, because Mothwave was banned, good job Mothwave.

**Author's Note:**

> I've upheld my end of the bargain, my sort code is 23-54-65 and my account number is 236933433454565676445775923649851646353, please wire 20 dollars into it in the next 5 hours or I will physically appear in your house and eat everything you hold dear.


End file.
